Some notes on change

Hopefully these will be short notes - I don't want to get into a long treatise on what change is - just to point out a few things that have helped me attempt to reframe my stress related to change.

#1 Change causes stress.

This point probably is a painfully obvious one but, remember - there are three types of changes:

those sought after,
those dreaded/feared,
and those unexpected.

All of these forms of change create stress.

Dealing with the stress is a topic for another day but, I think that the best way to cope with the stress of change is to remember two things:

1) at some point every change looks like a disaster
2) every change brings surprises

The essential root of the stress of change is to remember to change expectations. It is our sense of the gap between expectation & reality that creates the perfect breeding grounds for disappointment. Disappointment leads to anger & that, if left unchecked changes into bitterness.

We are never more emotionally dangerous than when we have unmet expectations of those around us. Sometimes the expectations are clearly defined & sometimes they are unvoiced.

Recognizing the change in reality & adjusting to form new clear expectations is the best step towards dealing with the stress. Even those who abhor plans feel better when one is formulated.

#2 No change is permanent

Danny Glover's character in the movie 'Grand Canyon' has a wonderful monologue about his father who said [paraphrase] 'if you live long enough you gonna see bad things come down another way'.

While that might pessimistic or even fatalistic there's an element of truth there.

The other side of the coin is that we, as human beings have a marvelous ability to adapt. To even the craziest of circumstances. The lomg & the short is that @ some point the 'change' becomes the new normal.

This means we should always be planning for the next change. Proper preparation allows us to take the next change in our stride.

Finally, I'd like to give props to Octavia E. Butler's book 'Parable of the Sower' for reframing much of my thinking about the concept of change.

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quoth the raven 'Nevermore!'